"Love at Home" and stories about James A. Owen

One recent Sunday we were singing LDS hymn number 318 in church.  I was reminded that it was my dad's favorite hymn.  It seems like we sang it every Family Home Evening.  We sang it before our family testimony meetings.  We even sang it at his funeral.  Maybe he sang it in the Methodist church he attended in Lincoln, Nebraska.  Ralph Owen called this hymn the "Owen National Anthem".

Hymn #318

Love at Home

                                          Text and music: John Hugh McNaughton, 1829–1891

There is beauty all around

When there’s love at home;

There is joy in ev’ry sound

When there’s love at home.

Peace and plenty here abide,

Smiling sweet on ev’ry side.

Time doth softly, sweetly glide

When there’s love at home.

Love at home, love at home;

Time doth softly, sweetly glide

When there’s love at home.

In the cottage there is joy

When there’s love at home;

Hate and envy ne’er annoy

When there’s love at home.

Roses bloom beneath our feet;

All the earth’s a garden sweet,

Making life a bliss complete

When there’s love at home.

Love at home, love at home;

Making life a bliss complete

When there’s love at home.

Kindly heaven smiles above

When there’s love at home;

All the world is filled with love

When there’s love at home.

Sweeter sings the brooklet by;

Brighter beams the azure sky.

Oh, there’s One who smiles on high

When there’s love at home.

Love at home, love at home;

Oh, there’s One who smiles on high

When there’s love at home.

I think Dad loved this hymn because he was attempting to keep his nine children from fighting with each other.  He was probably trying to teach us with the message from his favorite hymn.  When I see my grandchildren fighting with their siblings, maybe I should start singing "Love at Home" to them and remind them of the Great-Grandfather they never knew.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings the Hymn here:   https://youtu.be/tn5UeEFw4QQ




About a month ago I drove by the house that Jim and family built in Leed's Utah.  It has been many years since I last saw it.  It seemed smaller than I remember.

The "Dream House" in 2018

I remember the November (1976?) when we all helped move the tool shed onto a foundation during Thanksgiving break.  It was quite a group effort and Mark Weiss tells the story with considerable emotion.

I stopped by the Leeds LDS chapel to take a picture in June, 2018.  It looked much nicer than I remember it.  The landscape was refreshingly green on a hot day.   When I was there in 1974, it seemed to be a small white brick building and everything was dry.  There were curbs on the main street.  I don't remember them being there before either.

Leeds Utah LDS Chapel in 2018

The Owen family moved from great Southeast Portland to dry Southern Utah in 1974.  During the five years prior to Dad's death, the family was always building on their "dream home".   The Owen kids were at critical ages:
Steven was 13-18 years
Diane was 11-16 years
Donald 9-14 years
David 7-12 years
Teresa 5-10 years

At Grandma Lillian Moulton's house.
They had just picked me up from the Salt Lake City Airport after my mission in Rome, Italy.

Ralph was living in Oregon and I was on my mission in Italy (1973-74) when the Owen family moved.  I reported my mission to the Leeds Ward Sacrament Meeting in their newly completed chapel.  Since I knew no one, it didn't make a significant impression on me.  In my Journal I merely mention it in passing.

Louise was married in 1974.  Sandy was at BYU and worked summers in Provo. Sandy and I both married in 1975.   Mark and I moved to Washington state in 1976.  We were all so busy in our own lives that I don't think we really knew how difficult it was for the Leeds family. Ralph helped provide a bit of income with creating jobs for the family in his framing business.  People were generous in the community and made life easier for Mom.

Dad died in the Salt Lake VA Hospital in September 1979 after living in Leeds, UT for only 5 years.  The five years were tough years to say the least.   Multiple trips were made to Salt Lake City for appointments at the Veteran's Hospital and purchasing items for building the house.  They would often stay with Louise and Dave Daniel's in Orem.

These letters were transcribed by Maxine Owen after Jame's Owen's death.

Dad tried to connect the family through THE HORNTOAD GAZZETTE.  Most letters were written from February 1978-September 1979.   These gave a flavor of the last 19 months of his earthly life.  In the letter he wrote between Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting on Sunday, February 19th, Dad thanks us all for birthday greetings and then says:

"[I am] so thankful to our Heavenly parents to allow all nine of you sweet, kind, wonderful, spirits to come associate with us for a few of our trying and formative years.  To see all of you doing and striving so well in your individual ways to do that which is right in God's eye, and to know that our efforts have been most rewarding and ever expanding as we see all of you walking in that strait and narrow road that will bind us all together now and in the Eternal worlds."

Dad and Mom tried to do their best in a hard situation.  Dad also wrote on Feb 19, 1978:
"We did try-oh so hard-possibly too hard at times- but so grateful for your love that forgives us for our failure on the first attempt at being parents.  So you must be much better than we.  We have shown you the "Best" and some of the worst-so now you know how to-and what to avoid.  Our great joy is to see all of you doing so much better than old Mom and Dad. "

I went to the Leeds Cemetery to take a picture of LaVarr Webb's grave.  He likewise, did the best he could in a tough situation. He was a wonderful grandfather to the older grandchildren.

LaVarr Webb, 2nd husband of Maxine Moulton Owen.

Leeds Utah Cemetery in 2018.

The move to Southern Utah created difficult situations for all the children who lived there.  Teresa once said she wouldn't exchange those years for anything:  "They are the reason I am who I am." Leeds Utah is a distant memory for the remaining Owen children now, and a sometimes a painful memory for the youngest five.  But that is their story to tell.

1978 Reunion in Orem, UT at Louise and Dave's home.

 Dad likely loves singing about "Love at Home" in heaven. He once wrote: "I continually wonder why time passes so quickly.  "Hope" is the reason ...that time doth softly, sweetly glide, when there's love at home" (Horntoad Gazzette-Dec 8, 1978).

When we meet again for our next Family Home Evening, I am sure we will sing this chorus yet another time:

Love at home, love at home;

Oh, there’s One who smiles on high

When there’s love at home.

“Think It-Ink It-Link It”

Recently I read in a news article the statement, “Think It-Ink It-Link It”.  The author was suggesting that we think about what we might do differently in a specific situation, write down a goal, and link strategies to complete the goal. 

Horntoad Gazzette-Letters from Jim Owen to his family 1978-1979.  Colored tabs for entries about specific children.

During the same time period I finished re-reading the compilation of “Horntoad Gazette” letters written by James A. Owen, my dad, during the final two years of his earthly life (1978-79).  My mom felt they were important and in her preface to the compilation wrote:  “I hope you will all take time to read—and enjoy….Jim had a great sense of humor—even with all the struggle with his deteriorating physical condition.  They are valuable for re-reading because they reflect his beliefs and values.”  This was Dad's way of trying to keep the family close even though we were living far from him.

Owen home under construction (1979) in Leeds, Utah

Now, over 35 years later, I find myself re-reading the letters documenting my family’s challenges and I wish I could have a “do-over”.   As I “Think It-Ink It-Link It” about this time period, I sincerely wish I could have involved myself more in their lives.  I was pretty selfishly wrapped up in my own personal world 1100 miles away. 

Williamette View Chiropractic Clinic (Owen Home 1968-1973)

The years 1973-1979 were challenging times in the history of the James A. and Maxine Owen family.  They sold their Chiropractic practice in SE Portland in 1973 and moved to Leeds, UT hoping to build a “Dream Home” that would become a nice place for their large family to come and visit them.  The dream didn’t quite go as planned.  They ended up living two years in small trailers, then moved into a framed but unfinished home, survived a winter insulated by cardboard, and just kept working on finishing the house over a period of about four difficult years.

For the last couple years, Dad was on dialysis three times per week and with Mom as driver they were making many five hour trips from So. Utah to the Veteran’s Administration in Salt Lake City for treatment, check ups, and later receiving training on how to use dialysis equipment in their Leeds, UT home.  Dad had time to write in both his journal and in these letters to the family as he sat in the chair for treatments.  

Trailer that was "home" in 1974.

I find that during this difficult time, I was not very helpful.  We lived far away in Redmond, WA in these days before Skype and Facetime.  Long distance phone calls were expensive.  It was hard for me to be of much help and I was basically clueless at how tough life in Leeds really was for my family.  I was busy with two and then three small children (Allison, David, and Tamarah).  Looking back, I am especially grateful to my sisters (Louise and Sandy) and Aunts and Uncles and their families (Rex Moulton, Evelyn McDougal, Delcie O’Grady, Velma Rohman) who all provided much needed support for Mom and Dad during this period of trials.

Owen Siblings:  Delcie, James, Velma.  The sisters visited their brother in Leeds, UT.

There was also the support and concern from the Leeds, UT LDS Ward family:  High Priest Quorum members, Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers, Young Men and Women Leaders.  They came and finished taping and mudding the dialysis treatment room, they helped do weed control, they laid the floor tile, and supported however they could.  I'm sure it was difficult for my Dad not to be able to put in the long hours he wanted to because of his declining energy.

“Our ability to endure to the end in righteousness will be in direct proportion to the strength of our testimony and depth of our conversion… The challenges we face, if successfully endured, will be for our own ultimate good”  (Elder Richard J. Maynes, Strength to Endure, LDS Conference Oct. 2013). I think that looking back on Dad’s history, we can see that he was able to endure his challenges because of his great faith.

To the Prophet Joseph Smith, the Lord said: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high”  (D&C 121:7-8).  Dad seemed to have a larger perspective of the “small moment” in time represented by earth life.  He saw his life’s end coming to a close and hoped that he would perhaps gain 5 or more years with the help of the dialysis machine.

My perspective is not the same as the perspective of my youngest sister who lived through these last four trying years.  For her, it was a time of growing up too quickly.  Age 10-14 during these tough years, she was often left “alone” in the big unfinished home, as Mom and Dad left for Salt Lake for treatment and her older brothers were gone during the school year.  Neighbors would watch out for her, but it was still a time of great loneliness. 

Family gathered for Donald's High School Graduation in Roy, UT

Three of my brothers were living in Roy, UT during two years with the Scott Taysom family who provided room and board and helped them through high school years in exchange for labor in their family brick laying business.  The boys would come south to Leeds, UT to help work on the house when they could.  From their perspective they too felt somewhat abandoned.  Mom and Dad were just doing the best they could to survive.

Owen Family in 1978.  Mom, Donald, Teresa, David, Dad.

The home was big.   Something like 22 rooms to frame, do electrical, plumbing, wallboard, paint, flooring, etc. On October 12, 1978 Dad wrote:  “We not only dream of this mansion we are to build but of others of greater magnitude during the Millenium and eternally, so all of us can continue to exist as a family together.  But the next one I’m going to switch places with Maxine and she can be the supervisor and I’ll do most of that work-that will truly be heaven for me.”

On November 29, 1978 he wrote: “What joy it brings to my soul to see you kids being better parents than Mom and Dad were (or at least Dad).  I want you all to know that it will only be ‘the day after tomorrow’ that 25 years will have passed by and many of you will be Grandparents and say ‘Where have the years gone?’ but one thing I humbly pray, that none of you will be guilty and have to say that ‘If I had it to do over again, I would spend more time with my kids.’” 

Framing begins in 1975.

He goes on to counsel us to teach children to work and be a good example, never miss FHE, keep the Sabbath Day holy, not to use TV as a babysitter and pay the Lord first his 10%.  He suggests “starting a Family Testimony Meeting, once a month” promising that it “will bring the family together spiritually like few other experiences.”

He wrote of his rich heritage on Jan 22, 1979 and then added:  “Maxine and I have done more than our parents, because we had greater opportunities and the fullness of the Gospel to help us.  Now you have all had greater blessings and opportunities than your parents, so the Lord expects so much more from you.  And nothing gives me (us) greater joy than to see all of you doing so well with your families.  …Make your home a heaven.”

Ralph loaned Mom and Dad a camera in 1979 to use during their trip to Nebraska to attend Dad’s 40^th High School Reunion.  They took over 150 photos documenting Dad's earlier life and Teresa helped label all of them.  (This was in the days before digital photos and they could only afford to get prints made of a couple of rolls of film at a time.)  Dad first tried the camera out in May of 1979: “We already have one (historic photo for our history)—where it first started-Salt Lake City County Courthouse, where we got our (marriage) license.  That was when all of you kids were hollering “whoopee” in the spirit world awaiting your turn to receive the blessings of mortality.  Don’t you remember?  What’s the matter with your memories?”

Salt Lake City/County Building where James and Maxine got their marriage license in 1948.

The trip to be with classmates of his Lincoln, Nebraska “Class of 1939” was a highlight of his last year.  His summary was written in an extra long letter on June 17, 1979:  “I saw no one there that could come within touching distance of being as blessed as we have been in our family unit and to have it expand with our fine sons-in-law and beautiful daughter-in-law—truly we are the most wealthy of anyone that I know.”

One 24^th of July, Dad watched as Mom was dancing at the community Pioneer Day celebration.  He wrote:  “Your mother is a beautiful dancer, she enjoys it so much.  As I watched her dancing, tears came to my eyes, and when she came back I told her (that) at the first available opportunity after the resurrection I would learn to dance and take her to all the dance she wanted to go to.”

On September 4, 1979 Dad wrote about the “dinner parties” they were hosting:  “We are getting to be real socialites—having so many dinner parties!  It feels so good to have a nice place.  It has been four years since we moved onto the property into a trailer, and at times it has been most frustrating, but always looking forward to the completed house has given me something to think about, which has helped tremendously.”

It was ten days later, September 14, 1979 that Dad died.  He was only 58 years old.  Mom wrote up a detailed summary of the cause of his death and the family gathering at the time of Dad's funeral (See her entry written on September 23, 1979).  In Dad's life he overcame the loss of his father (age 7), polio just as he was beginning his teaching career (age 22), family opposition to his religion, the challenge of becoming a Chiropractor before it was generally accepted, a battle over big government control in his life, and on going poor health (diabetes/kidney failure).  As hard as his life was, I believe it was all part of God's plan for James Owen and his family to grow and develop during this life.

Dr. Owen working on legal brief for fight with US Government over Social Security Taxation

President George Q. Cannon reminds us that God has prepared each of us for the tests we face in mortality. “There is not one of us but what God’s love has been expended upon. There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed. There is not one of us that He has not desired to save, and that He has not devised means to save. There is not one of us that He has not given His angels charge concerning. We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes, and in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are the children of God, and that He has actually given His angels—invisible beings of power and might—charge concerning us, and they watch over us and have us in their keeping.” (See quote in context by President Eyring, “To My Grandchildren”, LDS Conference, October 2013).

As I “Think It-Ink It-Link It” I hope to learn from my dad’s example of faith and endurance.  Jim Owen, like the Apostle Paul, was able to say:  
 
 “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:  Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day”  (2 Timothy 4:6-8).